Thursday, January 29, 2009
i duno how to describe how i'm feeling
i know its my fault to get irritated and impatient
i'm sorry
but i din mean it
i mean imagine if you're concentrating and this person down here is always talking to you talking talking
then of course you will ask him/her to hey can you like stop i'll do it myself and you can just leave things there
i'm not disrespectful
i'm more then grateful for all your help
i'm more than happy to have parents like you
many times your words hurt me but i cried behind closed doors i cried behind your back
like how i'm breaking down in my study room now while you're in the living room/toilet
knowing NOTHING
many times i tell myself even if i'm not well-liked or anything i have the greatest parents on earth so its ok
you can show your damn black face to everyone at home while you're sweeping the floor getting irritated by us
i noe i cant ask why cant i
because i'm younger than you
i'm a child
you're the adult
you're always right
i think you should be glad i'm an okay girl
i'm not that good
but i'm not that bad either!
I dun stay out always
i dun quarrel with you always
i dun do alot of things that others do
everytime there's dinners or outings
i feel bad leaving either one of you alone
so i'll not go
and now i'm deemed as anti-social by some ppl
i'm not putting the blame on you
because those were my choices
i made these choices
yes so its my responsibility
but do you understand?
could you be more understanding?
to understand the stress that i'm upon
that i'm not catching up in school work nowadays
that there's a million and one things to do and i cant seem to complete them all
i know what sandra will say if i tell her these
i have to communicate with my parents
but sometimes
communicating with them is useless
looks like im in for a cold war for the next couple of days or even weeks
they sure want an apology from me
and next few weeks are the toughest with orientation and my event
i thought i had support back from home
but now
i feel lost
i know its my fault to get irritated and impatient
i'm sorry
but i din mean it
i mean imagine if you're concentrating and this person down here is always talking to you talking talking
then of course you will ask him/her to hey can you like stop i'll do it myself and you can just leave things there
i'm not disrespectful
i'm more then grateful for all your help
i'm more than happy to have parents like you
many times your words hurt me but i cried behind closed doors i cried behind your back
like how i'm breaking down in my study room now while you're in the living room/toilet
knowing NOTHING
many times i tell myself even if i'm not well-liked or anything i have the greatest parents on earth so its ok
you can show your damn black face to everyone at home while you're sweeping the floor getting irritated by us
i noe i cant ask why cant i
because i'm younger than you
i'm a child
you're the adult
you're always right
i think you should be glad i'm an okay girl
i'm not that good
but i'm not that bad either!
I dun stay out always
i dun quarrel with you always
i dun do alot of things that others do
everytime there's dinners or outings
i feel bad leaving either one of you alone
so i'll not go
and now i'm deemed as anti-social by some ppl
i'm not putting the blame on you
because those were my choices
i made these choices
yes so its my responsibility
but do you understand?
could you be more understanding?
to understand the stress that i'm upon
that i'm not catching up in school work nowadays
that there's a million and one things to do and i cant seem to complete them all
i know what sandra will say if i tell her these
i have to communicate with my parents
but sometimes
communicating with them is useless
looks like im in for a cold war for the next couple of days or even weeks
they sure want an apology from me
and next few weeks are the toughest with orientation and my event
i thought i had support back from home
but now
i feel lost
what we could have been, 29.1.09.
